Confused

Do you like me or not i need to know i don't know if i want you but i know i don't want no one to have you. I don't want to have sex with I want it to mean something. You say friends with benefits i say no way. i don't what no one to have you and if i cant have you then i don't want you. sometimes i feel like my mind is with you but my heart with another. My heart with the other knows nothing about it he knows how i feel about you but no about him. I get the feeling of a future with you but the feeling of affection from him. None of you care and None of you know just how long and how much i think of you two. I wish i had all the answers i wish this made since. life never does. I think i know what to say i just can't find a way.why can't love be simple. why is life so hard. will the answer come to me. I will never know........

Real World = Scary

The Pass and review Ceremony and the Gear up Dinner was Yesterday. This is the end to my beginning , school is almost over NO more ROTC and NO more Gear Up meetings. I think I'm going to cry. I scared of whats life going t be like after we cross the stage. Fernando is leaving going back to mexico and everybody is going to be spread out all over the place. I feel like i did nothing in high school. wow heart pounding fast thinking about the big day.

Conflicting Feelings

So yea I got Brandon back, but is that what I really want. I have feelings for my friend Fernando, and there not just feelings they are strong feelings. I hate feeling this way. He is a really fantastic guy. He has everything I ever wanted in a guy; cuteness, fun, tall, and knows how to cheer me up, and he actually cares. He makes me happy when everybody else is against me. If I can find someone who makes me feel the way he does then everything will be just find, but I feel as if that won't happen. It took me Four years to find a perfect guy I let one get away. I don't want to try my odds against this one. I decided I must tell him. I'm just really scared. I hope he feel the same way or not. I don't know what I want. I don't want things to be awkward that will just miss everything up. Keep you posted

He Enter My Life Again

Brandon and i are back together. I am so happy that we are together again. We still have a lot to work out, but I think if we learned from out past them we should be better than we were before. I would like to thank Fernando for bringing us back together he is awesome. This relationship well be official when he breaks up with Nikki. We are going to spend the day together on Wednesday. Jimmy and Went to Tanger Outlet yesterday, it was fun till we needed someone to pick us up. Neither one of us had a phone or new his step-mom's number we called Ally and that bitch got the nerve to say she didn't had the number I hate her. So we my drunk mom had to come get us from Wal-Mart . She did take Jimmy home so i guess that was cool. Mother's day is tomorrow. I think I will write her a letter and write Harley a letter to. Have yet to write him back.

Same Old Song

I can't help but to fight the feeling that Brandon and I are supposed to be more than what we are now. I think I love this boy. i think he love me too. I know he still feels something I can just feel it when he looks at me. Anyway Graduation moving in close Yearbook aint finished yet.